


Let's Pretend We Don't Exist

by La_Temperanza



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Character Death, Gen, Magic Revealed, Pre-Slash, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 19:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Temperanza/pseuds/La_Temperanza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“No. I'm happy to be your servant, ‘til the day I die.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Pretend We Don't Exist

In.

It’s funny.

Out.

It’s funny how something he always took for granted before is all he can think about now, all he can concentrate on doing now.

In.

No, it’s not really funny after all, if he actually thought about it, but he still lets out a bark of laughter, a sound that’s as broken as the body it has escaped from.

Out.

There’s a loud roaring in his ears, and it takes him a moment to realize it’s Arthur, shouting his name over and over. Couldn’t he leave him alone for five minutes? Didn’t he know what Merlin had done?

In.

Oh gods, what Merlin had done, what he had _done_. What he had done in front of the knights, in front of Arthur. What he had done to Morgana.

Out.

There’s still pieces of her, sprayed across his face, and his skin crawls in revulsion.

In.

He’s sorry, so sorry. He didn’t want to have to kill her. But he didn’t want anyone to kill Arthur either.

Out.

He didn’t want to die.

In. 

Arthur is kneeling at his side now and gathers him in his arms without hesitation. Merlin makes a noise of protest at first, but the pain he expects from the movement doesn’t come.

Out.

It’s not there anymore, having finally ebbed away from his body, just like his magic, just like his blood that soaks the forest floor.

In.

Something hot and wet is on his cheek, and his eyes flutter open weakly to see the king of Camelot crying over his manservant. Over his _sorcerer_.

Out.

There’s a small pang of victory in his chest, a reminder of his cheeky nature before that slips away too, and he stops mentally counting his breaths to mumble, “I thought no man was worth your tears, Arthur.”

In.

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur snaps brusquely, looking so absolutely devastated and hollow that Merlin has to close his eyes again to fend off the wave of overwhelming guilt. “Just shut up.”

Out.

Merlin feels his head roll to one side, no longer having the strength to hold it up. It’s okay, right? 

In.

Arthur knows he’s a sorcerer now, knows he’s kept it a secret all these years, and that hurts more than any wound Morgana could have given him.

Out.

But at least Arthur is still alive.

In.

For now, but the prat has to survive without him for a little bit, because he is so tired. So very tired. And cold.

Out. 

All he wants to do is crawl back to that tiny back room in Gaius’s workshop and sleep forever. He deserves a break, doesn’t he?

In.

Arthur would let him have at least one day off before deciding his fate, wouldn’t he?

Out…

The thing he never had to think about before is getting harder to focus on. And Arthur is shaking him, shouting at him again, but he can’t hear it.

…In…

That’s when the truth hits.

…Out…

Oh. _Oh_.

…In…

 _I’m sorry, Arthur_ , he thinks, no longer able to form tangible words; the only sound he makes is his labored breathing.

…Out…

_You’ll be a great king, the greatest Albion has ever known._

…In…

_Don’t die. Don’t be a prat._

…Out…

_I love you._

…In-

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on [livejournal](http://latemperanza.livejournal.com/3470.html).


End file.
